Things that never happen
by moneytree100001
Summary: This is a silly thing my friend and I made up....since we looked at a Twilight version.......ANYWHOOOOO ENJOY or I will hunt you down with pit bulls who will tear you to shreds, then we will use you as confetti at my birthday party, then we will eat you
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **We do not own this book series

**Things That Never Happened in The Series of Unfortunte Events **

1: Sunny falls in love with Count Olaf

2: Klaus and Violet admit to having a love affair

3: Klaus and Violet admits to having Sunny

4: Their parents lit the fire because of the shame

5: The incredably deadly viper did kill Uncle Monty

6: After the news of the viper killing Uncle Monty, Sunny goes emo, her reason being that Uncle Monty was her one true love

7: Klaus reveals that he is infact.. in love with his left shoe

8: Count Olaf falls in love with a stripper names Cindy, and a llama named Bob

9: Cindy and Bob fall in love and run off to the circus together, where they end up falling into the pit of death

10: Count Olaf, lonely and sad, falls in love with Klaus's left shoe

11: Klaus and count Olaf battle to the death for the shoe, but upon almost killing each other, they fall madly in love and run off to Vegas where they get married, Count Olaf claiming he is a woman

12: Klaus is shocked, almost leaving Count Olaf, but then found an upside....three somes with Count Olaf and the shoe

13; After three weeks of wonderful three somes, the shoe runs away with a spoon, making Count Olaf and Klaus go emo, cutting their wrists with shoe laces..

14: Violet admits to being in love with her hand

15: Violet argues the law against marrying body parts, claiming that her hand is just as beautiful as a reall person

16: Violet's left hand leaves her for Klauses left shoe

17: Violet gets dragged around everywhere with the shoe and her hand (you know because they are attached)

18: She finally gets mad and hires a dirty smelly wood chopper to cut her hand off

19: After this the wood chopper and Violet fall in love, and move to Forks, where Edward steals the Wood Choppers heart

20: Count Olaf falls madly in love with Uncle Monty's dead body, claiming that he thinks the body is quite sexy

**So... did you like it? Hate it? Please review!!!! We will update it after we get 2 reviews!!! So hurry up and review!!!!! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: We don't own these books!!!

**Things that didn't happen in the Series of Unfortunate Events**

1: Sunny poisoned the food on the Slippery Slope

2: Violet died from the food and Klaus ate her so he wouldn't die

3: Which didn't work.....he died 2 days later

4: Count Olaf decieded to fufill his life long dream of becoming a stripper

5: After Violet and Klaus died, Sunny became a prostitute in New York

6: The lady with too much make up went emo after Sunny left, she took off all her make up and looked like a turkey (oh burn!!!)

7: The man that couldn't see was thankful

8: Kat revealed that she was madly in love with Violet

9: Klaus went down the rabbit hole and ended up in Wonderland

10: Where the Rabbit and guy with the teapot (crazy guy) gang raped him up the bum

11:Klaus then found out he was pregnant with a weird crazy bunny baby

12: Sunny followed Klaus down the rabbit hole, where she then fell deeply in love with the queen

13: Count Olaf got fired from his job at the strip club, his customers claiming he inpragnated their wives

14: Sunny and the Queen ran off to the strip club, the last day Count Olaf was performing, they got a show...but then got ass herpies

15: After the ass herpies left, Sunny became a country singer, all of her songs were about her hard times getting over having ass herpies on her face

16: Violet and Klauses left shoe fell in love and ended up getting married in Vegas

17: Violet moved to Forks and kidnapped Emmett Cullen, claiming he was the father of her child

18: The Wood Chopper came back and stalked Violet for 9 months

19: Then killed her.....(BURNNNN)

20: Klaus became an international pop star and was stalked by the weird guy from blades of glory.... the weird guy claiming Klaus was his mother

**Hi, it;s us again, so we have uniffecially made 40 things that didn't happen in the Series of Unfortunate Events...like it? ....hate it??? Love it!!!?!?!?! Anyways rate or whatever and ya, we are doing this early because we are bored and this is very intertaining (almost as fun as burping!!) So, ya........more coming very shortly...YOU KNOW IT!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: We do NOT own this peice of wonderfulness called a series.......**

**Things That Never Happened *Number 3***

1: Sunny started a pop band called "The lu lu lemon eaters"

2; The band failed horribley........They split after 5 minutes of being together

3: Klaus admited to being the one who really pushed Aunt Josephine off the boat

4: Esme decieded that Count Olaf was going to be her bitch and if he refused, she would bitch slap him

5: Sunny walked all emo like, then found a penny!

6: And then she was all like "O...M...G"

7: Violet and Sunny declared their undying love for each other

8: The penny that Sunny found left her for the left shoe... they ran off to Alberta to get married... only to find out pennies and left shoes cannot get married

9: Count Olaf refused, and walked away with a red cheak

10: Little boys laughed at Count Olaf, so he took them to his house and raped them up the bum, later to be sued for getting 9 year olds pregnant..

11: Violet was turned into a vampire and she killed everyone in the town of High River but Kendra, Jesse, Tarrin and Colby

12: Klaus was thrown from the top of a thirty-three floor building and when he reached the bottom, Count Olaf started to raped a random pineapple that Klaus landed on

13: Violet found out what it was like to be raped up the bum.......and then she found a new fetish!

14:" To be or not to be, that is what I am asking stupid so dont be a jerk and sit there like a dough head and freakin answer me foo!" Is what the penny said to Klaus

15: One day while playing hide-and-go seek.... Sunny found a magical bathroom

16: After demolishing the town of High River, Violet turned to Kendra, Jesse, Tarrin and Colby and whispered "_ thanks for the candy"_

17: Colby scratched her head with a blank stare on her face, and said "When did we ever give her candy?"

18: Sunny became a prostitute then got kidnapped by Violet and brought to a cliff, she let the car go over, not knowing Sunny...had (dramatic pause)..................................................................................................

SUPER POWERS!

19: The Baudelaire Family confessed to being the real reason that there are UFO's... It's their parents trying to get ahold of them

20: Sunny, Klauses left shoe, Bob, Cindy and Esme run away into the middle of the ocean only to realize that they can't swim and they all drown

**Like it? Hate it? Love it? Review!!!! We will most likly post another one soon so yeah... have fun reading these!!!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **We do not own this wonderful Series of Unfortunate Events!

**Things That Never Happened**

fell in love with a nickle

penny became inraged by S/he taking Klaus's heart, so they battled

3. But just before the penny delivered the final blow, she fell in love with the nickle

4. They both ran off to the states

5. Leaving Klaus to kill Violet

6. He got sent to prision and got raped

7. all of a sudden he realised, that he was gay

8. So in jail he got married to a man named Jill and they lived happiley ever after

9. Until Jill got sent to the electric chair

10. When Kaus got out, he needed someone to fill the hole that Jill had been filling

11: Sunny falls deeply in love with a rock

12. Klaus kills the rock because he loves Sunny

13. A few days later, Sunny tells Klaus that she is pregnant, but doesnt know who is the father

14. They go onto the Maury show, to find out that the father is (will say later) (BURNN)

15. A random hobbo falls in love with Sunnys foot

16. After 5 years Sunny's foot becomes married to a hobbo,

17. Sunny goes insane, and saws her own foot off to avoid being killed by a wood choper

18: The penny kills Klaus because it was feeling naughty....

19:The penny hires a really good laywer and doesnt go to jail for what it did

20. The Penny gets run over by a train (Talk about Irony!!)

father of Sunnys child was.........THE HOBBO!!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Diclaimer: WE do ****NOT**** own this wonder series!**

**Things that never happened!**

comes and gives birth to a duck

has a baby cow

Olaf steals the cow baby

hires a hit man to kill Count Olaf

hit man falls in love with Count Olaf

move to the states, and try to get married

apparently marridge of the same gender is frowned apon

plays with Play -Doh tm

rapes a 12 year old

12 year old gets Violet pregnant

knocks up Violet

Olaf knocks up Violet

the llama knocks up Violet

the stripper knocks up Violet

15. She has 18 childeren...

of them are llama and human hybrid

17. Sunny looks at the and says ".............weird......"

moves to Alaska with her 18 childeren.....

19:They all die of frost bite

kills the penny because it killed Klaus a while ago, but he came back from the dead, so did all of the others who died...so they arent even people....they are weird zombies or something..Sunny came along and read this and said "........weird......"

**Ok, so Kendra did this on her own...Colby wasnt here, so it might not be as funny as it was when we both made up stuff together, but please still review and crap like that THANKIES!!! Holy I cant belive I just said that.......O_o Oo hahahahaha they are faces!!!!!!! %) hahaha!**


End file.
